By Olivia Hooper
The heavily loaded word “virginity” is surrounded by myths and stigma across the world for different reasons, but it shouldn’t be. The truth is that virginity is not a medical term and has no scientific evidence supporting it. Virginity is often used as a weapon and social construct to shame women into abstaining from sex to be “pure.” That’s not to say there is anything wrong with abstaining from sex; however, the decision should not be driven by others’ opinions, shaming culture, and abuse. It is a deeply personal decision that individuals should only make for themselves.
The truth is that virginity is not a physical thing; it is a concept. Therefore, it cannot be taken away or lost; it is purely up to each individual whether they classify themselves as a virgin. Only the individual is responsible for making decisions about their body and sexuality.
The concept of virginity is rooted in patriarchal norms, where marrying a virgin was once vital to ensure a man’s paternity, especially before DNA testing. This reinforces the harmful idea of women as men’s property, an issue that unfortunately persists today.
Debunking these myths and exploring the truth and scientifically proven facts is a way to stop this damaging cycle of disinformation about virginity.
Many myths surrounding virginity also interconnect with abortion disinformation. For example, some say abortion permanently affects a woman’s body, and others can tell if she has had an abortion or not. This statement is false; it is an anti-choice narrative used to scare people into not getting an abortion.
Another myth is that abortion “restores virginity.” Like the statement above, this is also an anti-choice rhetoric as it tries to persuade women who may face social stigma for being pregnant into making a choice about their body. As discussed, virginity is not a physical state that can be “restored” or “removed;” it is a concept shaped by societal and cultural beliefs.
Breaking the Hymen Myth
One of the most well-known myths surrounding virginity is that you can “tell if someone is a virgin,” depending on whether their hymen is broken or not. The hymen is a thin layer of fleshy tissue at the opening of the vagina that has no known purpose. Hymens change throughout a person’s life due to hormone levels, such as estrogen. A study, reported by the BBC, found that 52% of sexually active adolescent girls did not have any notable changes to their hymen tissue.
The International Rescue Committee said: “It is extremely difficult to differentiate between a healed, partial hymenal tear and a naturally occurring superficial
notch, even as experienced physicians. In most cases, there is no correlation between a hymen’s appearance and the actual history of sexual activity.”
However, many people believe the myth that vaginal penetration of any kind can cause the hymen to break and that this equates to a loss of so-called virginity. Even during sex, your hymen does not break; it stretches, which may cause a small tear. The size of the opening in your hymen is irrelevant, unless it is so small that it causes blood flow obstruction and pain; in these cases, it is recommended that you see a doctor.
Using tampons, riding a bike, and doing sports like gymnastics and horse riding are very unlikely to damage your hymen, according to Healthify and many other medical sources.
There is at least one hole in a hymen, but sometimes there are more, and the size of these holes can vary. In some cases, the hymen can completely cover the vaginal canal, which is a medical condition called imperforate hymen. It can cause painful symptoms because blood can get trapped inside the vagina during menstruation.
This myth is generally deeply rooted in patriarchal cultures. In at least 20 countries, there is documentation that proves that women have been forced into having virginity tests and, in some cases, pregnancy tests before marriage to prove their “purity.” Putting women and girls through this is not only deeply unethical, humiliating, and painful, but it also does not produce a medical or scientific answer, as you cannot tell by looking at someone’s hymen whether they have had any kind of sexual intercourse or not.
Many people may assume that these virginity tests only happen in global majority countries that have strong religious ties, and, yes, they are highly prevalent in many Asian, Arab, and African countries. However, Western countries, such as the UK, used virginity testing in the 1970s for what they called “fiancée visas.”
This referred to women who immigrated to marry fiancées already living in the UK. At the time, immigration rules meant that a woman coming to Britain to marry did not need a visa if her wedding was to be held within three months. However, internal Home Office papers from the 1970s prove immigration officers sometimes justified the order for a “virginity test” on suspicions that the woman might already be married, as someone who was already married would require a visa to enter the UK.
Fortunately, the harmful and discriminatory practice was exposed by several human rights groups and media outlets, which led to policy changes. However, a documentary released in 2022 by British TV channel ITV found that even though virginity testing is condemned as a human rights violation by the UN, it is still widely available in the UK, underlining the need to elevate education on the topic and tighten restrictions on the abusive practice.
Sexual violence survivors can be greatly triggered by violating “virginity” examinations, as many survivors carry the extra burden of PTSD. Survivors may not have been able to speak about the sexual assault they experienced or may have chosen not to, so being forced into a virginity test could have a severe psychological impact and also be physically painful.
Being forced into a test could also mean survivors are pressured into sharing their stories before they are ready in a high-pressure situation with people they may not feel safe or comfortable with.
The Bleeding Myth
Another widely spread myth is that if a woman bleeds after sex, it proves she is a virgin. This is completely false and again stems from the hymen myth. Due to the wide dissemination of the myth, many women and girls resort to buying blood capsule pills. These pills are readily available on the internet and support the stigma and myth further, aiming to make others believe that blood after sex correlates with virginity, which is not the case.
Unfortunately, other more invasive procedures are wrongly sold to women and girls as solutions to “rebuild or construct hymens.” This is done by a medical procedure called a hymenoplasty. Such procedures and products serve to capitalize on the damaging and repressive attitudes towards women’s sexuality and virginity.
In the book, “It’s Not About the Burqa” a collection of personal essays by Muslim women, Salma El Wardany wrote this about the myths surrounding virginity in Islam: “There is a barrier to education and pleasure … without the right information to hand, Muslim women are introduced to sex in ways that can be damaging, painful, unsafe and traumatic.”
In her essay, El Wardany recalled the stories passed down through her family of the days in the villages in Egypt when “the new husband would enter the bedroom with his mother, penetrate his wife, and once the hymen was broken, the mother-in-law would come out with blood on a handkerchief as evidence of the daughter’s virtue.”
This passage in the book touches on the important issue of virginity being tied to someone’s worth. This idea is deeply harmful, as a person’s value should not be dependent on their sexuality and whether they choose to identify as a virgin or not. This is entirely a personal decision and should not determine how someone is valued.
That being said, it is not uncommon to bleed the first time you have sex, although there are many other reasons why bleeding after sex can occur. The UK’s National Health Service (NHS) says: “Some causes can include changes to the surface of the cervix (cervical ectropion), small growths on the cervix (polyps), vaginal dryness, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as chlamydia.” If you experience bleeding after sex, the NHS recommends you see a doctor.
Conclusion
To stop these myths from continuing to dominate women’s rights and choices, more must be done to educate the youth on the damaging impact these myths have. There is a need to better support young women and girls who are facing abuse surrounding their virginity and reproductive rights with safe spaces where they can talk and learn.
Abortion
At a higher level, there needs to be stricter regulations to ban any practices that reinforce gender-based violence related to virginity and create survivor-led approaches to prevent and mitigate such abuse.
Abortions are often heavily stigmatized due to persistent myths and misinformation surrounding sexual and reproductive health and rights (SRHR). These myths, such as the belief that abortion leads to infertility or is always unsafe, fuel fear, shame, and judgment, discouraging people from seeking accurate information or care.
We can also see the concept of virginity as another tool used by the patriarchy to control women’s bodies and limit their autonomy. This is done by framing virginity as something that belongs to others, such as family, a future husband, or society at large, rather than the woman herself. This mindset feeds into broader anti-choice attitudes, such as opposition to abortion, where decisions about a woman’s reproductive health are dictated by external beliefs and power structures rather than her own informed choice.
This stigma and concept not only silences those who need support but also creates barriers to safe, legal services. Organizations like safe2choose play a vital role in challenging these harmful narratives by providing evidence-based information, compassionate counseling, and access to safe abortion options, helping to reclaim bodily autonomy and protect reproductive rights.