Dear safe2choose Counselors: Abortion Choices and Family Conversations

Image of a thoughtful response letter from safe2choose, offering guidance and support on abortion

Dear safe2choose,

I saw your posts on Instagram the other day, and I think you might be able to help me in my situation. At least I hope so.

I am twenty one years old, and I’m living in Mexico City. I have been with my boyfriend for two years now and we go to the same university. If you asked me two months ago, I would’ve told you that my life was perfect. But I found out a month ago that I got pregnant. I have told my boyfriend about it and while he’s being supportive and I’m glad that at least he’s not running away, I’m afraid he hasn’t been much help. You see, we are both from conservative families and he’s never had any conversations with his family about safe sex, let alone abortion. Not that I have had any with mine. We are both in the dark here.

But what I know is that I can’t carry on with the pregnancy. I’m on track to graduating with honors and I can see my future. I will marry my boyfriend one day and we will have a great family together, but now is not the time. I honestly believe that if I have a baby now, nothing would ever be the same again.

So I’m here with two big questions to ask you, and I sincerely hope you can help me. First, I want to know where I can get a safe abortion. I know it’s legal in Mexico City, but I don’t know how to even begin. Please tell me how I can proceed.

And the second question is, how do I talk to my family about it? As I said, I’m from a very conservative family, and I think my parents are going to freak out when they find out. How can I approach them with this conversation? Or do you think I should tell them at all? Should I get an abortion and hide it from them?

I desperately need your help. I look forward to your response.

Elena

Dear Elena,

We’re glad you checked out our Instagram and decided to contact us.
We understand that the situation can be overwhelming, and we’re here to support you at this time.

We understand that talking about abortion can be complex, since it is an issue that is not usually discussed openly, and although great steps have been taken when it is legalized in Mexico, it is still little discussed, generating disinformation that can frighten us.

Rest assured that you can speak transparently and directly about your fears with us, and so, clarify any doubts you may have about the procedure. We have up-to-date and scientific information that helps demystify abortion while understanding the stigma surrounding it. You don’t have to feel guilty about making decisions about your body and your life. Be sure you have us.

Linda, answering your question, let us tell you that in Mexico City you have multiple options to access a safe abortion, of which we can give you detailed information, both the procedures available and organizations that facilitate access to medicines or surgical procedure according to your preference. You can contact us via chat or mail and we will be happy to provide you with more details.

Dear, regarding your second question, about the treatment you can give your abortion in front of your family, we let you know that a medical abortion can be done in the tranquility of your private space and it is not necessary to talk about it unless you want it and feel comfortable with it. A medical abortion has the same characteristics as a miscarriage, so even medical staff would not have to be aware of your decision unless you decide to share it. It has no long-term effects on your health or future fertility and in most cases the risks are very low, being less than 1% if performed following the appropriate protocols. In addition, bleeding like your period is expected or a little more abundant so you do not need to rest later.

Addressing the issue with your family will depend on whether you feel safe talking to it and how long you feel right for it. Consider that it may take time for mom and dad to assimilate your decision, emotions can be complex. If you feel it’s appropriate, find a trusted space to talk to them, find a relaxed moment and try to stay calm.

We firmly believe that you are the only one who can make decisions about yourself, based on your circumstances, desires and life goals.

We reiterate our support at this time, to accompany you with reliable information as well as to listen to you.
Be sure you can count on us,

safe2choose counselors

We are here for you. You can write a letter to us if you need any consultation because the weight of the world is less heavy when you have someone to help you shoulder it. Email us at info@safe2choose.org