For many of us, it goes without saying that we would help our friends in their time of need. That is what friends are for after all, right? However, there are often situations when our heart is in the right place but we really don’t know how to help. Supporting a friend having an abortion can be one such situation. Given that abortion is usually a hushed-up topic in many societies, we usually don’t know what helping entails and what our friends might need.
In this blog, we will get to the heart of this topic and flesh out some very practical tips to help you help your friend. As they say, knowledge is power and the first step to action. So let’s begin learning.
Offer emotional support: First things first – listen actively without judgment; respect your friend’s decision and do not try to influence them; and guard their privacy. The goal is to be there for your friend emotionally throughout their experience. Let them know you are available when they need to talk and that they can count on you to listen. Acknowledge and validate their emotions, and absolutely avoid minimizing or dismissing them. And most importantly, be patient.
Research local resources: Help your friend find clinics, pharmacies, local support groups, counseling services, or post-abortion care resources. Look for organizations or facilities that are feminist, pro-choice, and reputable. Provide them with contact information, websites, and any other relevant details so they can explore these resources at their own pace.
Additionally, accompany your friend to these places if they prefer company or assistance navigating appointments and services. Offer to make initial phone calls or inquiries on their behalf if they feel overwhelmed.
Accompany them to appointments: Offer to drive your friend to and from the clinic or hospital on the day of their procedure if they are having a surgical abortion. This gesture provides practical support, especially if they are feeling nervous or anxious about the appointment. Sit with them while they wait and offer reassurance. If allowed, accompany them into the clinic or hospital as a supportive presence.
During the appointment, be prepared to stay until your friend is ready to leave and ensure they have everything they need for their comfort and recovery afterward.
Help with childcare or pet care: If your friend has children or pets, offer to look after them during their appointments or recovery period. Arrange to pick up children from school or daycare, take them to activities, or care for pets at your home or theirs. This alleviates the logistical challenges your friend may face and allows them to focus on their recovery without additional stress.
Prepare meals: Cooking or bringing over nutritious and comforting meals can be immensely helpful for your friend during their recovery. Prepare dishes that are easy to heat up and store, ensuring they are nutritionally balanced to support their physical well-being. Consider dietary preferences and any specific food restrictions they may have.
If cooking isn’t your forte, arrange for meal-delivery services or purchase pre-prepared meals. Offer to stock their fridge with these meals to provide convenience and nourishment during their recovery.
Assist with household chores: Offer to help with household tasks such as laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, or running errands. These chores can become burdensome when your friend is focusing on recuperation. Take initiative by tackling specific tasks or asking how you can best assist with maintaining their home environment.
Organize tasks based on priority and schedule to ensure that your friend’s living space remains comfortable and conducive to recovery without them needing to worry about household responsibilities.
Provide financial support if possible: Financial considerations can add stress to the situation. Offer to help cover some of the costs associated with the abortion procedure, transportation to appointments, or any necessary medications. This can alleviate financial strain and allow your friend to focus on their recovery and well-being without financial worries.
Of course, approach this matter sensitively, respecting your friend’s autonomy and preferences regarding financial assistance.
Offer a comfortable space: If your friend needs a quiet and comfortable space to recover (or even to go through the abortion procedure), offer your home as a sanctuary or assist in ensuring their own space is set up for comfort. Provide soft blankets, pillows, and any other items that could enhance their comfort during the recovery period. Create a soothing environment with calming music, books, or movies to help them relax and rest as needed.
Offer distractions: Suggest activities or outings that can help divert their attention and provide moments of relaxation or enjoyment if they are open to it. Engaging in light-hearted activities such as watching movies, going for walks, or visiting local attractions can offer a welcome distraction. Respect their preferences for solitude or social interaction and tailor activities accordingly.
Arrange for aftercare supplies: Stock up on essential aftercare supplies such as pads, pain relievers, heating pads, and any other items your friend may need during the recovery period. Ensure these supplies are readily accessible and within easy reach. Consider their specific preferences for comfort items and provide options that cater to their individual needs.
Follow up on medical instructions: After the procedure, ensure your friend understands any post-procedure instructions provided by their health-care provider. Help them organize medications, schedule follow-up appointments, and adhere to any prescribed guidelines for recovery. Clarify any uncertainties they may have about managing their physical well-being post-abortion.
Be available for emergencies: Provide your contact information and reassure your friend that they can reach out to you if they have any unexpected complications or concerns. Remain accessible for support, whether they need immediate assistance or reassurance during their recovery process. Respond promptly to their communications and offer to accompany them to medical appointments or seek help if necessary.
More information
We have compiled these practical tips so that you can help your friend who’s having an abortion in the best possible way. But if you would like to know more or get information for your friend, you can check out our website safe2choose.org. Here you will find scientific information about safe medical and surgical abortions – an abortion with pills and a manual vacuum aspiration abortion – within the first 13 weeks of pregnancy.
safe2choose is a social enterprise working to make safe abortion accessible to everyone around the world. We do this by providing accurate information as well as counseling support in multiple languages. When needed, we also connect people to their nearest trusted health-care provider.